Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
Hold on to Your Dreams
Friday, November 26, 2004
After procrastinating for the past two months, I have finally started my paper that is due on Monday (that starting is always the worst part). My paper is about bias in intelligence testing. Apparently it wasn't always the popular notion that Jews are smarter than everyone else. Once I finish my paper, I might post a bit more about the topic - I have mixed feelings about the use of intelligence testing in general and hate how it has been used to discriminate in the past but I don't necessarily feel that it is a worthless medium. Anyway, I have written about half my paper so I decided such hard work was worth a blog break. I have several things I want to write about, but don't really have the time to develop them fully at the moment. I watched the movie "Stepford Wives" yesterday and found it extremely interesting. It gave me a lot to think about on the topic of "perfect" and how perfect is often boring and not at all what someone thinks it will be. I watched "The Bachelor" the other night and was extremely pleasantly surprised to see two people on television who really seemed to be in love and want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. I don't think I have ever before seen such a heartfelt moment on reality TV. I was actually brought to tears by it (but don't tell anyone). For my friend who wants to be the next Bachelor, here is the application. I heard Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky speak the other night about Chanukah, prioritizing and holding onto dreams. His shiur brought more tears to my eyes (okay, I am a softie, I admit it). But his message was absolutely beautiful and I really hope to give it an entire blog post in the very near future. Finally, just thought I would share some of the ways people found my blog that I found a bit amusing. People were referred to my blog by searching for the following terms: Frumster (several times) Here's a hint - go here. Star-K shidduch Go here. Chasidish Skirts I don't think anyone who knows me would accuse me of knowing where to find those. Chasidish bad girls Again, wrong place for that one. Blog basketball Lakewood I didn't know people in Lakewood played basketball, much less had blogs about it. Ways in which a rose is similar to a person In beauty and lovely fragrance of course. Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned (You should have heard Rabbi Orlofsky - don't resign your wishes yet) Have a wonderful Shabbos and a great weekend!
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
I was talking to a friend last night when the topic of dating came up (as it often does). My friend asked me about my thoughts on attraction. It made me think more about attraction and how it works, so here goes – the Sweet Rose primer on attraction. I will be the first to admit that I don’t completely understand how attraction works. I think there are several different models which could happen between two people. The first model is the instant physical attraction between two people, often referred to as animal magnetism.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Who Has It Worse - Men or Women?
Thursday, November 18, 2004
I am doing a project for one of my classes about the relationship between religion or spirituality in one's life and the satisfaction that one feels with his life. I was interviewing a classmate yesterday and she told me that having a belief in God absolutely lessens stress in her life. Why? Because even when she is alone, she is not really alone. Then she said something that really hit me. She said, "I am not scared to walk alone at night, because I know that I am not really alone, there is always someone with me." Wow.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Daughter of the Queen of Sheba
Monday, November 15, 2004
Mondays are such rough days - it is such a hard adjustment to wake up early after a few days of getting to sleep in. So I am always overtired, which for me translates into overly emotional, and I don't usually have very good Monday mornings. This Monday morning I have decided to indulge in a little fantasy land, so here goes. In my fantasy world: I could just go to school and not work in a meaningless, boring job. I would take whatever classes I wanted, and have classmates that were also interested in the material and we would have stimulating, intellectual, interesting and thought-provoking discussions all the time. At least once a day, someone would tell me, for no reason whatsoever, that they loved me. And then they would give me a big hug.
Friday, November 12, 2004
Now I Know
I always wondered what planet I was from:
|You Are From Neptune|
|You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.|
Coincidence? I'm not sure.
I have been thinking a lot about coincidence lately. Does everything have a reason for happening? Or are there things that happen that just happen and there is nothing deeper about them? I am not sure about it. I want to believe that everything happens for a reason, that there is a grand scheme to things, that every contact I make, has a greater purpose and spiritual karma for having happened. But then there are things that happen that I am just not sure have a reason. People that come into my life and I have no idea why they did. It doesn't mean that they didn't impact me, but I can't even determine whether their impact was good or bad, or what I was supposed to learn from them. Maybe it is because I can't see the bigger picture. I have no idea what strings are being pulled to cause the events that happen. Weird coincidences occur, and I don't know why. But maybe someone does. I hope so. But when people tell me that everything happens for a reason, that things that happen are signals or signposts telling you to act, I have to wonder. Maybe I have just had too many times where I thought something was supposed to happen and it didn't, so now I am jaded. Which I hate. For the moment I am skeptical, but who knows? Maybe some seemingly coincidental act will bear sweet fruit and teach me that there is no such thing as coincidence. I hope so.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Have We Changed?
In class last night, somehow we managed to get onto the topic of how things have changed so much - people are so busy these days, so stressed out, families are so different, people have different expectations and priorities now. Except that I don't agree. In general, I feel that things don't really ever change, we just want to think that they do because we think we are so much more enlightened and advanced than we used to be. The example was made of the materialism that Americans today have put so much focus on, to the point that many individuals will work a ridiculous amount of hours a week in order to obtain material possessions that they then never have the time to enjoy because they are working so much. How is this a change? Didn't farmers and industrial workers spend just as many hours at their jobs to secure material possessions? Maybe they didn't have as much because they just couldn't afford it, but isn't that what they were working for? Do you think they were happy with less than their neighbors had to did they push themselves to keep up with everyone else? I think that the underlying desire to have what everyone else has and to live a life of pleasure has never been any different - what is different is the way in which people go about securing these things. I think there has always been and will always be those who need to keep up with the status quo. And I think there will always be those who defy societal norms and determine what is important to them individually. I think when we herald today's society as so enlightened, or when we decry our newfound focus on working for just the material, driving ourselves crazy in the process, we are being silly. We learned out values from those who came before us, and they learned it from those who came before them. Things may seem to change on a surface level, but deep down, I believe things always stay the same.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Winter is Upon Us
Monday, November 08, 2004
I love meeting people who make me think. I was at my favorite place yesterday when I got into a conversation with a photographer from the Washington Post. We were discussing different time periods when people lived with a lot less than we typically do today. He mentioned something about immigrants living three families to a tiny apartment, sharing a bathroom down the hall, living off a few dollars a week. And they were grateful for what they had. He said that was one time period he would love to be able to travel to and take pictures of. I made a comment about how I think it would be fascinating to see those times, but how I sure am glad that I don't live in them. He said that he guessed it was all a matter of perspective. Today, people in many parts of the world live with so much less than we in America assume is our right to minimally have. There are many countries where people live without things we completely take for granted, such as indoor plumbing or several pieces of clothing. It really made me think about myself. I don't consider myself to be materialistic, and I feel I am not terribly spoiled in comparison to most of the people I know. Money is not the focus of my life or the reason for what I do. But when it really comes down to it, when I think about those things that people live without or those things that so many in this world would be incredibly grateful to have, I really do take so much for granted, and am unbelievably spoiled. It was an eye-opening conversation, and one that I hope to keep in mind for a long time to come.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Find Me a Man, Receive $2,000...
Courtesy of the Star-K.here. send me an e-mail and tell me a bit about him. But remember, my rules are these: I don’t care what kind of family he comes from, or what kind of hat he wears. Don’t tell me his income, his height, or his learning schedule. I want real details – what kind of person he is, what is important to him, if he treats every person he meets with respect. I am looking for a thinker, a questioner, a seeker and a striver. If you know a guy who meets these details, and is between the ages of 24-35, let me know. You might end up $2,000 richer!
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Frumster Defines Its Categories
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
In Response to a Comment
In response to my request for luck, Pyolski commented that: “It is not befitting a Jewish daughter to resort to [goyish] symbols, symbols rooted in alien beliefs, which should be cast aside rather than drawn close. Let's not forget, we're holy Jews and not just nice people. We are different, and we need to keep that way.” I want to respond with my thoughts about that comment. First of all, I would like to say that the word “goyish” would never, ever come from my mouth – that one is strictly Pyolski’s. I think a word used with such a negative connotation should be avoided in all circumstances, because it leads to generalization, stereotyping and hate. If it is okay to use such a term in reference to one group of people, then it is fine to use it with any group, including those groups the speaker is a part of. And few people I know want to be labeled with pejorative, negative titles that do a grave injustice to individuals, and justify the debasement of any human beings. Next, I would like to address his insinuation that these “alien symbols” “should be cast aside rather than drawn close.” First of all, I believe these symbols do come from our fellow human beings, and to label them “alien” is not appropriate. I have major issues with the separation that many seem to feel is necessary between Jewish and non-Jewish spheres of life. In fact, I don’t even like to say that there are necessarily different spheres to be a part of. Every person on this planet has value, and is created in God’s image. And every person, no matter their religion, ethnicity, observance level, etc. should be given consideration and treated with the utmost respect, rather than cast aside. Also, I think there is so much we can learn from different parts of life. To keep ourselves to strictly Jewish books, thoughts and people would limit us in so many ways. My life has been incredibly enhanced by learning beliefs and reading opinions of those who I don’t necessarily agree with, but I can certainly learn from. Further, in response to the statement that “we’re holy Jews and not just nice people. We are different, and we need to keep it that way,” I have a few points. First of all, I know many Jews and many non-Jews. I know many Jews who I would never consider holy or nice, and many non-Jews who I would consider both holy and nice. I don’t see how being Jewish confers the status of being holy, nice, or neither upon anyone. Again, Jews and non-Jews are both human beings. To me, that confers a lot of similarities, rather than differences. To keep things completely separate would be to live in a black and white world, rather than one where all the colors paint our palette of existence. Some may choose to live in black and white – that is their decision. But I choose the rainbow.