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Isn't it pretty?

Friday, December 24, 2004

Being Single Sucks

I was going to write a pretty post about the episode of My So-Called Life I just watched and how words hurt more than guns, and how hearts are broken so easliy. But I don't feel like it. I try to keep negativity off my blog, or if I find it necessary, to make it constructive. But today, I just don't feel like it. What I do feel like is whining. Just once. About how I am sick of being single. Of not having that one special someone who cares more and who I care about more than anything. Who I can come home to every day. And love, and adore, and take care of. Someone who understands who I am, and loves me for it. Who is not afraid to commit the rest of his life to me, and me to him. Someone who I can't imagine life without. I told a friend last night that I was lonely, and he responded that he didn't understand when I had time to be lonely. I go to work early, go to school, come home late and go to bed. When do I have time to be lonely? It is not a thing that needs time to feel. Even in my busiest moments, I still have time to know that I don't have someone who will be there forever. Maybe I sound like I am over-romanticizing it. It is possible I am. I don't expect marriage to be always a rose garden, with no obstacles and no hard times and down days. But having someone to work through those tough times with makes a huge difference. To have someone to love makes a huge difference. I am not unhappy, I really have a good life. But I am tired of being single, of being alone. And I just want to know when it will end. I know there are many others out there who feel the same, and can commiserate. I don't think dwelling in the depression or bashing all the members of the opposite sex helps anything. I think being supportive and encouraging each other that the end is in sight does. So anyone who has positive words of encouragement for me, please feel free to leave a comment or send me an e-mail. Sorry for the depressing whine. But once in a great while it just needs an out.

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