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Isn't it pretty?

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Seeing Your Reflection, Except Better

It is amazing to me how other people can see your mistakes so much more clearly than you can. And learn from them. Maybe it is because others have a more objective perspective, but it seems that those around me sometimes tell me what mistakes I am making before I can recognize them. Or I recognize the mistakes, but refuse to do anything about them, because I just don't want to. I guess the fact that they are a step away from the situation, and the emotions associated with it, that they are able to recognize those things that I am blinding myself to. I think this is why it is important to have good friends who are honest with you, even when they know that you don't necessarily want to hear something. They still can't force you to make decisions that you don't want to make, but they can sow the seeds in your head that you need to seriously think about something you are doing. The problem is that it is hard to be honest with a friend, because you care about them, and you don't want to hurt them, even if you feel that the eventual outcome would be positive. And then there are those people who are too stubborn to listen to anyone else, and because you are their friend, you know that they are stubborn and won't listen, so why waste your breath. But when it usually hits me is when I see a friend who is in a situation similar to one I have already gone through, and she is making the right decisions, even though it isn't the easy way, or the fun way. Because she has watched you go through pain, and she refuses to make the same mistakes. She has obviously learned from watching you make bad choices, and has decided that she won't make the same ones. Even though the short-term results are not fun and cause pain, she has seen what the long term result is and she has become wise from watching you. And then the mistakes you have made hit you more squarely, and you see what you should have done. Does seeing this cause you to make the right decision in the future? Maybe, maybe not.

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