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Isn't it pretty?

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Responsibility for Others

There is a girl in my life who I met this past summer. She intially called me because she wanted someone to learn with and she was given my number by an organization in town that sets up chevrusas. Well, given my track record for actually learning with chevrusas (hint - it is fairly poor), I am happy to say that we have actually learned together on occasion, but what we have spent most of our time doing is talking about life issues, which to me is a form of learning also. It is a new position for me to be the one who is more knowledgeable, the one who is doing the teaching. It is something that I am working on, that I am a bit uncomfortable with at times, because I feel the weight of responsibility in being a role model for someone else, and I can see that I am a role model to her, that she looks up to me. The weird thing is, as random as it was that we were set up to learn together, I feel that, in many ways, she is a reflection of me. She has been going through some extremely similar life situations as I have been in. It is uncanny in many ways how similar some of her recent experiences have been to mine. Almost to the point where I feel like Hashem might have put me through some of those experiences so that I can help guide her through them. (Don't get me wrong, I am not so arrogant as to believe that I didn't have major things to learn from the experiences I had, I know that they happened to me for me to grow through them as well.) This girl calls me when she is having problems so she can get my advice, she asks me what she should do with her life, she seems to trust my judgement when it comes to how to deal with situations. And she says that talking to me really helps her feel better about things, to calm her down when she is upset. It is a major responsibility that I don't take lightly. I feel like Hashem is telling me that it is time for me to help others now, that it is time for me to focus on helping others get through what I have already been through. Only Hashem could have sent this girl into my life, this girl who has experiences such similar things to myself. I only hope that I live up to the responsibility and do impact this girl's life for the positive. Hashem, please guide me.

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