I'm currently reading the book "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Piccoult (I think SaraK is a fan). I haven't gotten very far yet, but the basic premise is a high school student who opens fire on his classmates at school one day, killing ten. What I have found interesting so far is the discussion of hiding who we are in the book.
Several of the students in the book discuss how they feel no one sees the real them, who they really are. Scraps echoes this thought in her most recent post and I know I have certainly felt the same way many times. I feel as if I play a part, sometimes multiple roles in life, depending on my surroundings. All these parts and roles are actually an element of who I am, and to be honest, I think in some ways, as I have gotten older, I have gotten better at showing my true, whole self to people, but often I do hide.
I hide in certain situations in order to not cause a fuss, to not stir up trouble, to pick my fights carefully. I refrain from speaking up if I don't agree because I know that the person I am talking to won't be able or willing to see things from my perspective anyway, so I just hide and keep quiet.
Other times I hide because I'm not proud of parts of who I am, and I'm afraid if people see those parts they will judge me. It's easy to say out loud that I don't care about what other people think, but to really, really actualize that is much harder. If I really didn't care, it wouldn't hurt when people turned their back or told me they disapprove. But it does. I do care.
I wonder if we ever really take our masks off fully. If there really is one integrated person inside that doesn't change somewhat depending on the setting one is in. That doesn't use his or her chameleon colors at times to blend.
I wonder if some bloggers, mainly those who are anonymous, use their blogging to shed their masks, to reveal all their true colors, to feel really themselves. Though while doing so, they are using the mantle of the anonymity of the Internet as another mask. I do to an extent, but I still keep my mask on often when I blog, mainly because I know who reads it.
Can we ever really unmask ourselves?