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Isn't it pretty?

Friday, April 07, 2006

Death and Dying

I am very fortunate to never have had anyone I am close with pass away. To go further, no one I am close with has had to deal with the death of a loved one when I was a close friend of theirs (I have friends who have lost parents, relatives and other close friends, but never when I was that close to them). A friend's mother passed away recently. She was ill for a long time and my friend had to deal with the situation on a daily basis. This friend happens to live far away from me, so when I heard about the death, there wasn't a whole lot I could do to help. And honestly, I was glad. Which is so selfish. It breaks my heart to think about my friend dealing with such a loss, but I have no idea how to help. Even with the distance, I still don't know how to deal with the situation. I don't know whether to send e-mails and try to reach out, or to just leave my friend alone, not wanting to be a bother. If I was there, I don't know what I would say or how I would act. I feel very helpless when it comes to situations of death and dying. Because there are no words that can make things better. And I feel like if I was there I would just be in the way. I know that in the future, I will probably have to deal with such a situation. I am sure that at some point I will be counseling someone who is going through a similar situation, or I will have a friend (who lives close by) who will go through it. But I have no idea how you go about it, how you comfort someone who is having to deal with the death of a loved one. I feel that one of my personal strengths is being a comfort to others in times when they are in pain, being a good listening ear and being supportive. But apparently it only applies to certain situations. I feel very helpless with this one.

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