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Isn't it pretty?

Friday, October 14, 2005

Post Yom Kippur

I have lots of thoughts and only a little time right now, so here's a jumble: - Yom Kippur was very powerful. I had one of my more difficult fasts. I have quite a bit of dissonance inside me now between being so happy that it is over, because now I can go back to being my normal self, and wanting to be that better person that I was striving for during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah. It's really quite a struggle withon me, because if I can strive to be so good for 10 days, why can't I do it every day? But the other part of me feels as if it is too hard to try for, and I would just end up disappointed in myself. Maybe I should shoot for a middle ground? - I am heading to Baltimore on Sunday for the first days of Sukkos. An event that also leaves me with so many mixed emotions. Because, on one hand, I am so excited about seeing all my friends again, I have missed them so much I can't even stand it. And I have missed Baltimore itself - the size and pace of the city are much more suited to me than New York. I keep finding myself thinking, in my head, that I am going home on Sunday and I am so happy. But on the other hand, it is going to be so weird being a visitor there, staying in someone else's house and trying to squeeze in so much and so many in such a small amount of time. And leaving after Yom Tov will definitely be hard. And then there is the other reason I am going. My cat, who I have had for 8-1/2 years, is going to Baltimore and will be staying there. I am really sad to see him go. It's going to be a really difficult separation. I know he is just a cat, but he has been with me for a long time. In honor of his departure, I am enshrining him in this post: I will miss him very much. - I am having a friend stay with me for Shabbos. I am really excited about being a hostess once again. I can't wait until I have Shabbos guests on a regular basis. It really makes my Shabbos special. I hope she enjoys as well! - Ezzie tagged me for the Meme of Sevens that Annabel Lee also tagged me with a while back. I don't have enough time or creativity to come up with new lists, so if Ezzie will allow me the liberty, you can check out my old post for my answers. Have a good Shabbos everyone!

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