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Isn't it pretty?

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Is Romance Real?

I was walking down the street yesterday, a bit lost in thought, like I often am, and I remembered romance. I realized that it has been quite a while since romance and I have crossed paths, and I suddenly missed it. I missed that feeling of thinking about someone at random moments, and the knowledge that they might be thinking of you also. Of having someone who thinks you are great, who buys you flowers or other little things, who gives you attention and makes you feel special. Who makes you feel special - I think that's what I miss the most. Not that my friends aren't great - they make me feel special and smart and helpful. They appreciate me and I know I am loved by them. But it's not quite the same thing as feeling that romance. So there I was, walking down the street, missing romance. But I started to wonder - is romance real? Does it ever last? Because the times that I have experienced it in the past, it was great, for a while. But then it stopped, usually because reality set in. The day-to-day dealings met the utopian, euphoric feelings head-on, and up to this point in my life, overtook the romance. The veil of romance was lifted to reveal all the things that make relationships fall apart - immaturity, incompatibility, inability to see eye-to-eye on things that mattered. But that's just my experience to this point - maybe I just haven't found the right person? Can that romance, that passion, last with someone who you are compatible with? Can you keep it fresh and exciting throughout life? Or does grocery shopping and laundry and taking the trash out necessarily shatter those rose-colored glasses? A friend came to visit me this past weekend and she was telling me about her relationship with her boyfriend of two years. She says they really love each other, she is crazy about him, but they fight all the time. She told me about how when they first met, he would go so far out of his way for her, but now that they are comfortable, it is not quite the same story. It made me a little sad, but I know it's normal. So what is romance? Is it just the heady, intoxicating beverage to bring people initially together? Or is it something more lasting, that grows from infatuation to love? I know what love is - it is that deep caring, really feeling for and wanting the best for another person. But that feeling is independent of romance - I can love many people, without it being a romantic love. Can that real love be combined with romance and made to last? Or does the romance necessarily die when the relationship softens into love? I hope to find out soon.

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