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Isn't it pretty?

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Struggling

I have been giving a lot of thought lately to how seemingly unrelated things can have a major effect on one another. I know that everything in life is interconnected, but I am sometimes surprised how events in one sphere of my life can have such a huge impact, often in an unexpected way, on another sphere. I see these surprising influences occuring in others as well. I see many of my struggles and the effects that emerge from those struggles reflected in my friends' lives in a very similar manner I see in my own. I also see that the more I struggle in one sphere of my life, the less strength or patience I have to deal with other spheres. When I am being bombarded by pressures from several sides, I have a tendency to shut down and not want to deal with any of it. And then I practice active avoidance, which I know is not the most constructive way to handle problems. But a lot of the time it is easier to avoid problems than to deal with them. But again, what fascinates me is how my frustration or difficulty in one area of my life causes me to be frustrated with or have major difficulty in another area. Maybe it is displacement of frustration, or an inability to compartmentalize my stresses. I think part of it might be that the more we deal with certain frustrations and stresses, the more we see the big picture and care less about minute details that used to seem so important. I think some of it is being pushed very hard in one area of life gives way to forcing other issues to be much smaller. I wish I could deal with everything all the time. But I'm human, and I fail, often. I let certain things get to me, and permeate other aspects of my life. I wish I knew how to keep certain frustrations from flowing through my whole outlook.

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