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Isn't it pretty?

Monday, August 23, 2004

The Right Decision

The right decision is definitely not always the easiest one to make. But I think, with each difficult decision, choosing the right path becomes a bit easier and the decision becomes more confident. Hashem tests us with these challenges, and through them, we grow and learn and gain a tremendous amount. However, knowing that we are gaining so much from the experience doesn't make it easier to deal with and get through. This past week I was faced with an extremely difficult challenge. I think I knew the whole time what the right thing to do was, but the wrong thing was incredibly tempting and looming so large that it made it almost impossible to care that it was wrong. I have been struggling recently with doing the right thing, because it is not always the fun or immediately pleasurable path, and because I sometimes feel that I have too much sense of propriety, that I need to just not care once in a while, to indulge. And I have had others who feel the same way who sometimes encourage me to compromise myself, because it is just too darn hard to do the right thing all the time. If everyone else is doing the wrong thing, why can't I also? This recent challenge was the most difficult I have faced in a really long time. Since my last challenge of this measure, I have grown a lot and strengthened myself in many ways. All that growth didn't make this any easier, and honestly, I didn't make the right decsion; someone else made it for me. Ultimately, I am following the correct, much more difficult path, and I am happy that I am, but I don't think I would have done it without someone else, and that scares me tremendously. But it also teaches me a huge lesson, one that I have been trying to learn and that I think Hashem has been trying to teach me over and over. That lesson is this: Sometimes you can't do it all on your own. Sometimes you need someone a bit older, and wiser, and stronger, than you are to help lead you on the right path. Thank you to the person who taught me that.

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