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Isn't it pretty?

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Similarities Between Dating and Blogging

Over Shabbos, I was musing about how blogging and dating are similar. Let's explore.

In dating, you see someone who seems attractive. You start to talk, and find them interesting, maybe find some things you have in common with them.

In blogging, you browse the blogs until a certain title or template looks cool. You start to read, find them interesting, maybe find some thoughts you have in common with them.

In dating, you start out formal, putting on a brave face, being on best behavior, dressing up, doing your hair and makeup, being extremely careful about what you reveal.

In blogging, you often start out being extremely careful not to reveal who you really are. You are circumspect, only publishing your best, most carefully crafted thoughts. You edit and edit to have the perfect post.

In dating, as you get to know each other, you reveal more and more. You start to rely on the other person, opening up to them, showing them your true colors. You look forward to seeing the other person, missing them when you are not together. You start to show true emotion in front of them, both happiness and sadness.

In blogging, you start to build your own blog community with regular readers and commenters. As you get more comfortable with those who read and comment on your blog, you get more real, more open. You may start to expose more of yourself, even possibly revealing your true identity (for those who start out anonymous). You come to look forward to blogging, to writing posts and receiving feedback. You miss it when you can't access your computer for a time. It becomes a support in your life.

In dating, hopefully, you really build a deep relationship with the other person, making them a big part of your life. In blogging, maybe you do so as well, exchanging e-mail, phone calls and maybe even meeting other bloggers in real life.

Sometimes, the outcome is even the same.

The other thing that I find the same in dating and blogging is where, at least for a while, you are only seeing certain sides of a person, but not the whole person. It takes a long time to get the whole picture. It's one of my frustrations with both venues - people think they know who I am by reading my blog, or going out with me briefly. And they definitely attribute things to me that aren't there, because of their own biases. But it takes time, and a lot of exposure to really see who I am. Who anyone really is.

There ya have it - dating and blogging - one and the same.

5 Comments:

  • Very interesting analysis, never looked at it that way.. But you make a lot of salient points.

    By Blogger Semgirl, at 8/27/06, 3:30 PM  

  • It's one of my frustrations with both venues - people think they know who I am by reading my blog, or going out with me briefly. And they definitely attribute things to me that aren't there, because of there own biases. But it takes time, and a lot of exposure to really see who I am. Who anyone really is.

    Amen. It's tough - we all like to feel like "we know" someone, and online it's easy to forget that we can only see whatever the person is letting us see.

    It's one of the strange parts about meeting another blogger - you really have no clue what you're going to get. Are they 'like their blog', are they completely different, is that what they really think about a lot, or do they usually not even discuss it, etc.

    Then there's the 'advice' aspect - everyone loves to give their own opinions/advice, just like I'm doing now.

    ~~~

    Interestingly, btw, I think that for non-anons things work somewhat in reverse. My friends tend to tell me that my blog is sometimes very 'me', and other times they're seeing a side of me they knew was there but never really got to see. It's interesting.

    By Blogger Ezzie, at 8/28/06, 2:04 AM  

  • Hmm. There is a big difference for me between the two. When I blog- I get comments. Dating seems to be a total bust.

    By Anonymous Amishav, at 8/28/06, 2:17 PM  

  • Semgirl - Thanks.

    Ezzie -
    I have met a few fellow bloggers, and it's never been especially awkward or weird (though my offline meetings have been quite limited compared with yours). Have you found that other bloggers have surprised you in real life?

    Amishav -
    Sorry you are having such a tough time with dating, but at least your blogging is going well! I hope that dating gets simpler (and is over!) for you soon.

    By Blogger Shoshana, at 8/28/06, 2:17 PM  

  • Interesting!

    I've been comparing dating and job interviews but never thought to compare to blogging.

    I'm having a lot more success with my blogging than dating though. (As in lack of dates therefore have time to blog.)

    By Blogger ~ Sarah ~, at 9/11/06, 1:57 AM  

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