The Perplexities of Blogging
Blogging is wonderfully rewarding, and incredibly frustrating at the same time. A lot of the things that I would most like to blog about are the same things that I just can't.
The things that I NEED to write about, that crave being crafted into words in order to form themselves into recognizable shapes and coherent thoughts. The things that want sympathy and empathy and understanding. The things that hurt and confuse. The things that sprout hope and lead to despair.
But there's so much that I just can't (or I guess won't) blog about. Because I know who reads my blog. Because I don't know who reads it. Because I don't want to hurt anyone. Because I just can't get too personal, it's too scary in such a public forum. Because there are certain things that I think are better left unsaid, especially again, in such a public forum. Because I feel like I have carved this "image" of myself on my blog and I would be afraid to shatter it.
So many of these struggles are the same as in life - what to say and not to say. Who you can trust and who you can't. Who you have to "uphold" your image for. Who you can let your guard down before and no longer worry about because you know they accept you regardless.
There are so many days when I think about walking away from my blog, just not writing any more. But I haven't yet been able to. But I reserve the right to do it, one day.