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Isn't it pretty?

Monday, May 30, 2005

Crying

There are some people that you meet that you feel an instant connection to. You feel completely comfortable in their presence, and even though you have only known them for a very short time, it seems like much longer. I sometimes have a hard time opening up to others, and revealing my emotional side, my weaknesses, the part of me that is not so strong and is a bit vulnerable. So, it was very unusual for me when I found myself at a Shabbos table this past week crying to a woman that I just met a little over a week ago. We were talking about different things, and discovering many commonalities between the two of us. We have gone through very similar situations in life, and through talking to her, I knew she completely understood what I was going through and how I was feeling. And before I knew it, tears were flowing from my eyes and I was crying. And I cry extremely rarely in front of other people. And the funny thing was, I wasn't embarrassed about it. She was so understanding, and caring, and was so supportive, that I wasn't ashamed about the fact that my emotions were flowing so strongly in front of this person that I barely knew. I even felt that it bonded us in a certain way. It's funny, because there are people that I have known for years, that I am extremely close with who have never seen me cry. I cry plenty, but not usually in front of other people. I can usually control myself when I in the company of others. But not on Shabbos, with this woman. And it was actually nice to feel that she wasn't judging me for it, that I could really be myself, even if that wasn't a happy, bubbly person every second. It was a good lesson for me, that I don't have to be the strongest person in the room all the time. That it's okay to show your feelings to others sometimes; that they won't necessarily think less of you for it - they might understand you better. It really felt good to cry.

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