I've been having some conversations lately with people about dating. I have a few friends who, for the first time in their lives, are actively seeking to date. In the past, they have just happened to come across people who they fell into relationships with. And now, they are in situations where they have to really put effort and thought into meeting someone with the goal of a relationship.
I've had the opposite experience. I've usually been in the situation where I was actively seeking partners to date. It's a much more intensive, draining and frustrating process. Maybe because you have a picture in mind of your ideal outcome but little control over really actualizing and finding that picture.
But the plus side is that you are seeking what you really want instead of possibly falling into something good, but possibly having major issues be hidden until a relationship has already developed, and having that elusive chemistry shield you from seeing the real deal. Though that can certainly happen when seeking to date also, but I do think you start out with a narrower, and hopefully more targeted, focus.
It's all difficult with no promised results. It's all draining. But you can't win unless you try.